How do I get this gig?

I’ve written before about particular everyday “art” that you see on a regular basis and who makes it.  For example, a deer crossing sign.  Who drew the deer or came up with that?

Above:  Memorable design, nice colors, bold statement…who drew this?  It works!

So, in my recent trip to our bathroom, I noticed my wife’s hair straightener.

I would like to know how one would get an illustration job like this:

Was there an art director involved or what?  And there are questions to be asked, such as:  Why is the kid reaching for the straightener?  Does he want to straighten his hair?  What’s with his striped shirt and why does he look murderous? 

I would love to get an illustration such as this.

For one, it seems as there’s little or no effort involved on my part.  Basically, make a obscure kid that looks like he’s about to grab an extremely hot product.  Probably solidifying his impending death.  Leave out any detail of flesh slithering off the bone and stuff like that.

Also, I could have more fun with this.  I would show on the back of the tag what happens next.  Like, the kid DID grab it and now he’s dead.  Wouldn’t that get the point across better anyhow to any stupid kid that would actually read this label warning and take it to heart?

Instead, I flip it over, at to my disappointment, we get this:

A girl that is dumb enough to about burn her eye out.

Now, do you really need a label for that, ladies?  Did you know that if you miss the mark with this, your eyes are close to your hair, so – well – you’re going to toast your pupils to a crisp?

Beyond that though (that’s a silly statement from me considering McDonald’s coffee has a Caution:  this is hot on it) I don’t think the illustration gives it justice.  Again, I think I could do better.

With this particular drawing, the proportions are a tad bit off.  That’s a freakishly small hair straightener.  Coming from an amateur hair straightener, I’d assume she was trying to straighten her eye lashes with the product.  It makes me almost want to try to straighten my eye lashes with it, probably contributing to a higher percentage of me burning those eyes of mine.

If I were a kid, I would definitely want to try to straighten my eye lashes.  Knowing me, I probably did as a kid and just blocked out the memory.

Again, where do they get these artist and how do I apply for these jobs?

They’re simple – somewhat weird – and really give a mixed message.  That kind of work is right up my alley!  Just read these blogs and you can quickly tell that.

All I know is I wouldn’t be surprised if the guy that drew the deer crossing sign is collecting royalties every time a car drives by.  He’s probably sitting in a mansion right now, thinking of how his (or her) masterpiece is being admired right at this moment by motorist across the world.

How lucky.