The Big Picture

16 Mar

In the past week I’ve had a similar theme occur in my dreams while I’m sleeping through the night.  It’s weird to me because that usually never happens.

I’m not one that really believes that dreams have much of anything to do with ‘a sign from above’ or some spectacular message.  You know what I mean?  I guess I’m trying to say that I see these books out there on what dreams mean and stuff, but really, I think it’s just a bunch of collective thoughts gathered in ones head that comes out as a dream.  I’m no scientist so I could be wrong.

Most dreams I have really don’t have any meaning (at least as far as I can tell).

You ever hear the story about how Paul McCartney got the idea for the song ‘Yesterday’ in a dream?  That it came to him in his sleep?  Well for me it’s quite the opposite.  Sometimes I’ll dream of an idea for a cartoon and think it’s amazing while passed out.  If I can remember it when I wake up, I think about it for a few moments and come to the agreement with myself that it’s an awful idea.  As much as a good story it would make if I could say I come up with some of my best material while asleep, well, unfortunately it’s quite the opposite.  They usually come to me while I’m sitting in my boxers eating Cheerio’s or something less intriguing.Reach His Dreams (1)

But as I mentioned, this past week, again, I’ve had a reoccurring theme take place.

The dreams are about me being at a show or a game – and I’m sitting in seats with a big wall in front of it.  Something blocking my view.

The first one was that I attended a Brown’s game in Cleveland.  I could hear the game and everything, but I had seats that had a big, cement wall in front of it.   And I wasn’t alone.  There were others sitting there.  I remember thinking,”What a crappy stadium!”.  I just accepted it though and stared at the wall while there was an exciting football game happening.

The next dream was very similar.

I went to a performance of Mozart’s Die Zauberflöte and my seats had a big curtain in front of them.  So, I could hear the performance and everything, but see nothing.  I remember thinking, “Why did I come to this?”

Weird, huh?

There’s only been two so far, but they’ve basically been back-to-back.

I got to thinking today and I might of figured out what’s behind them.

Recently, more than usual, I’ve been looking at ‘the BIG picture’ of my career.  Everything from what exactly is it, how is it going to happen and more.  And honestly, much of it is fuzzy.  Yes, I know what I want to do, but when it call comes together (and I’m sure elements of it will not) what will the final, BIG picture look like?  How will I spend my days?  Client work or other projects?  Pitching ideas or ideas coming to me from others?  Books or will they be replaced by some gizmo in ten years that I’m not even aware of yet?  The future, you know.

Tons of questions.

Growing up, all I wanted to be was a syndicated cartoonist.  Back then, I wouldn’t even have imagined that I’d be doing client work, working on a licensing site for my cartoons, graphic novels, etc.  Nope.  I just wanted to draw my daily feature, send it to my editor and enjoy the freedom that cartooning allows of working from anywhere.

Well, times have changed a bit.

I’m actually still holding on to having that major syndicated cartoon (since there are a few major syndicated cartoonist out there) but so far, to make a living, I’ve had to try it all.

But anyway, you see kind of what I’m getting at?

I think the dreams are an analogy on real life and seeing whole big picture clearly.  It’s being blocked just like these games and performances are. 

I really think I’ve been over-thinking the big picture.  Yes, I like to imagine the future, but there are so many unknowns and more that’s it’s hard to figure it all out.  Again, I wouldn’t be doing even half of the things regarding cartooning if the industry and technology hadn’t changed so much since that time in 8th grade drawing on the desk during class.

Despite of what I originally intended as a child, my cartooning career has had interesting things that may have not been accomplished if I were just ‘syndicated’.  I’ve worked with MAD Magazine, met some awesome clients and have seen my work pop-up in the strangest places via social media.  And more.

Anyway….

We’ll see if I keep having these dreams.  I guess they’ll prove to be interesting nights if I do.

I’m just hoping for better seats though.

 

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