The Evil Satanic Devil Mouse

11 Jul

I went to the store yesterday.  Innocently enough, I wanted to get my cat, Tiger, a new toy.  She has so far enjoyed tormenting every one of my wife’s hair ties and I thought maybe and actual cat toy would be beneficial and more fun for her.  I was wrong.

Above:  Tiger in happier times, crawling through a filthy newspaper.  It gets a bit darker from here.

It all started as I strolled through the pet isle.  There were several toys to choose from.  Mostly dog toys, but there were some for the felines as well.

I ran across something that I thought would be appealing for Tiger.  I saw the Play-N-Squeak “Bounce and Pounce” Cat Toy.  It was basically a furry toy mouse on a string that had cat nip as its entrails.  It had a handle and a feather on it as well. Also, it makes a mouse noise anytime it moves.  A squeak.  Truly living up to its name.

Here’s what the back of the package says:  “Cats love stalking and pouncing, and are keenly attracted to movement, so slowly drag the “Bounce-N-Pounce” play wand on the floor and arouse the pounce, then dangle it above and double her delight!”  (Which was kind of weird that it mentioned ‘her delight’.  How did they know I had a female cat?)

Perfect.  “A mouse on a string.  Hours of entertainment!”  I thought as I grabbed it and went to check out.

When I arrived home, my wife and I revealed the new toy to her.

Tiger pawed at it once.  Then twice.  And then, she seemed to have the look of terror in her eyes.  Kind of a nervous tic. And then –  she bolted for the bed.  And under the bed she went.  And she stayed.

Now, I’m no superstitious person, but I’ve never seen my cat so scared in her life.  Could this mouse be that scary?  If not….evil?

She eventually wandered out (after over an hour or so).  And we thought, just maybe – maybe – she just needed to get used to it.  So, we grabbed the Play-N-Squeak.  As soon as that mouse noise came out, it was as if death was staring my cat in the eyes.  She was petrified.  She took one step back, and again, bolted and made a mad-dash toward under the bed again.  Literally shaking with fear.

Now,this was all last night.

Let’s fast forward to today.

This morning, I decided to make one more attempt.  As I mentioned, I couldn’t see how this innocent squeaky mouse toy could be so terrifying to a cat.  It was supposed to be fun.

I grab the toy.  It squeaked.  She ran.  (Under the bed, of course.)

I scratched my head.

Could it be that this toy is Lucifer itself?  I was listening to the radio at the time, and the Rolling Stones song Sympathy for the Devil came on while I was putting the toy back.  Is this a sure tell sign?  Even I was getting a bit scared of the stuffed mouse now.  If true, apparently the devil doesn’t like to get whacked around by a cat.

Above:  Satan himself – stuffed with cat nip and tied to a string.

So, I’m out five bucks.  I have a cursed toy that apparently displays evil and scares a cat that seems somewhat courageous around normal circumstances.  The “Bounce and Pounce” is tucked away.

All this being said, unless its head starts turning in circles or the mouse starts squeaking on its own, I’ll probably hold-off on calling a priest.





4 Responses to “The Evil Satanic Devil Mouse”

  1. Jenny Everywhere July 11, 2012 at 3:08 pm #

    Our cat either is afraid of, or utterly ignores, all forms of commercial cat toys such as stuffed mice, balls that drop pieces of kibble, that sort of thing. The only things he will play with are a rack of holes into which small balls are dropped — he will play with this for a while every few months — the dot from a laser pointer once in a while, or the hand strap hanging from the handle of my aluminum cane. That last is like a fishing rod for this cat, with bait he simply cannot resist. I wave that cane, and he’s jumping at that strap, catching it with his teeth and claws. If I leave it leaning against the wall, he’ll jump up and pull it down. No commercial toys…but a cane strap, he’ll play with obsessively. Go figure.

    • w101njf July 12, 2012 at 6:05 am #

      I think mine is the same. I’m guessing I just need to invest in hair ties from here on out.

  2. gardenfreshtomatoes July 12, 2012 at 3:46 am #

    Ah, Nate – isn’t it obvious? You’ve got a recovering catnip addict in your house! Here she is, trying to stay clean and sober after the binge that landed her in Kitty Jail, and you bring the stuff to her? For shame!

    • w101njf July 12, 2012 at 6:06 am #

      Oh my gosh – you might be right! God forbid I’m an enabler. Well, if she starts attending meetings, I’ll definitely be sure the Bounce-N-Pounce is bounced in the garbage.

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