Honestly, another blog?!

14 Jun

You want to hear a scary story?  Well you won’t hear one here, because all I can do from this end is type.  So, I guess I should ask:  Do you want to read a scary story?  Ah, much better.  Okay then, if you’re still reading, I’m assuming you do.  That’s great, because I have one!

Back in 2000-2001, somewhere around that time, I was a manager at Pizza Hut in Ohio.  Being a pro at my profession at the time meant being able to slice pizzas and chop salad, along with managing people.  At this period of time, cartooning was somewhat not a priority, because I was pretty honed in on having fun and playing around.  Yes, I was kind of a slacker in the sense that I wasn’t being responsible.  I wasn’t at work though.  I never called in, worked my ass off and had good results to show for it.  But, this job was for entertainment purposes, so I didn’t mind.  If you’re a manager at a pizza place, you know what I’m talking about.  You’re mostly there for the fun.  Because, well, it can be fun.  Especially as manager (and the free pizza doesn’t hurt, either).  I told everyone else what to do while I sat back and did what I wanted.  That being said though, like I mentioned, I was good at it.  Dedicated, some might say.  And I pitched in and ran a smooth ship.  Never had trouble with anyone, and everyone working under me was all kind of family.  We all hung out, drank beer together and so-forth.  Definitely fun, but yet, not exactly a rewarding spot to be in.  I constantly felt like if I didn’t leave there soon, I could end up trapped doing this forever; smelling like pizza night after night.  So, I took the job lightly and just figured that while I’m in my early 20’s, responsibility wasn’t high on the priority list so just roll with it.  Have fun.  And, as I said, it was.

Until one morning…

I went into the restaurant as opening manager and come to find out, we were robbed.  Someone broke into the safe and stole about $800.  Not much bread (I’m talking money, not breadsticks) but enough that obviously cops were called and there was an investigation.

The bad part of this (and the not-so-much-fun part) was along with being opening manager this morning, I was the closing manager the night before.  Therefore, a lot of details weigh down on me.  Who was there?  Anything suspicious?  You know, the usual questions that might be asked on an episode of Law and Order or Sponge Bob.

I told the cops everything I knew.  I knew I locked the doors, I knew some of the people that were there and everything.

Well, lets jump to the chase.

Cops had everyone working that night come down to the station for a polygraph test:  aka lie detector.  Sweet.  I can get this over with and get on with my daily routine, which at this period of time was probably playing video games with friends, chasing a girl that wanted nothing to do with me, partying or something else childish.

Not quite a cake walk.

Going into the test, I had a tendency (like I do today) to let my mind wander.  I could only think was, “Okay, I don’t know anything so how do I act?”  So, it was hard for me to focus even while waiting to take this test.  However, the test came.

I go in, get hooked up to this little machine and the cop tells me to just relax and be myself.  I was relaxed, I was being myself, but I still had an intuition to really think about the answers before answering them.

“Do you know who did this?” asked the policeman.

“No.” I answered.

Simple enough, right?

“Did you have involvement with this robbery?”

Again, I answered, “No.”

“Is your name Nate?” I’m asked as he stares me down.


“Did you ever kiss my daughter?”


(Okay, the last question wasn’t on there.  It was just put in for entertainment value.)

As the test concluded, he gives me a stern look and his tone changed a bit.  “You know who did this robbery and you had involvement.”


“Yes you did.  It shows on the test.” the officer concluded as he started to walk away.  As he does, he turns a bit more and ads, “We’ll be talking more.  You’re free to leave…for now.”

Now get this straight, I had NO knowledge of anything.  Zero.  Zip.  I did not point my fingers like Bill Clinton and lie about having safe-ual affairs, either.

To wrap this story up, several days later, they caught the folks who did do it.  It was another shift manager (who had a safe key), her boyfriend and another friend of theirs.  She had the keys, so they just broke a window and some stuff to make it look like a break-in, but it was them.  They fessed up to it, along with they had proof because every time the safe was opened, it had a memory system of knowing whose key it was.  And obviously, it wasn’t my key.  Plus they found the money and so-forth.

They dusted their hands off.  Case closed.

Of course, I get no apology or anything from the officers.  Not that I expected one, but a little common courtesy for calling my out as a thief and realizing you were wrong so saying “I’m sorry” would’ve been nice.  Ah, whatever.

So, to this day, I know for a fact that lie detectors don’t work.  And that’s kind of scary because they still use them (the police force, that is).

I watch these shows on television about people getting wrongly convicted for crimes, and often times they flunk the lie detector.  I’m just afraid this could happen again at some point in my life.  They don’t work. 

I just wanted to share that experience so that if you ever get in a bind and have to take one of these, know they aren’t always accurate.  I pride myself on being honest.  Over the years I’ve even learned to become even more honest.  What do I mean by that?  Well, for example, several years ago if you asked me how I was doing, I would probably just respond with a “Doing great!”.  Actually though, I could be doing miserable at that period of time.  I used to sugar-coat things.  Now, I’ll be completely honest with anyone about anything.  There are sometimes when I’m not as open with people (like some family or acquaintances that I know really don’t want to hear things) but typically nowadays I’ll say and talk about anything with exact, precise details of what I really want to say.  I’m an open book.  So, it’s never been about being dishonest with me, yet, I did make things sometimes sound better than they are or stuff like that without really saying what’s happening.

Well, I’ve changed now.  I think it makes a person much more happier when they can just be themselves, talk about anything and just not worry so much about what they’re saying.  Just like I have sometimes kind of some-what risque, off-the-wall humor that I often don’t share because I’m worried about what others might think (I have some greeting cards out there).  Well, if you talk to me, I’ll honestly tell you that I’m proud of it and think it’s funny material.  Share it with everyone?  Nah.  I think it’s good to keep a few things under wraps for the purpose of many wouldn’t appreciate the stuff.  And it doesn’t make me a bad person, I just don’t see it necessary.  That’s what I always wonder with actors.  When they do things on film, like curse or are in a sex scene, they have to be thinking that everyone is going to see this.  But, I guess they’re open and that probably helps them be happier.  I guess.

Anyhow, I’m heading off topic…

I think we’re all mostly honest, and it’s funny how the one machine that’s supposed to be truthful isn’t.  I’m certain it has a track record of being accurate quite often.  There’s probably some big, numerical stat I’m leaving out of this post that I should know about.  But I’m just scared of – even if it’s 1 % – its inaccuracy in my case.  What if I would’ve ended up in prison for that robbery?  Of course in court that would come out that I flunked a lie detector.  And I’m sure it would’ve sent me away.  Yikes!  I hate thinking about that and how many people did get into jail because of these stupid devices.

At any rate, my managing Pizza Hut years are behind me and I don’t have to worry about managing employees because I’m the only one.  And for test in general, I guess I’m just bad at them.  I was bad at test in high school, college and then come to find out, lie detectors.  What it boils down to is I should probably just avoid test.  Period.

Scary enough for you?  I won’t tell you some of the way the pizzas were made, because that would add a whole new level of scariness to this story.  But, I’ll leave it as is.  Just don’t break into places.  And if you do a lie detector test, tell them about me.  If they think you’re lying, send them here to Nates Ramblings.  I appreciate new readers anyhow.

Above:  It’s probably being honest.


4 Responses to “Honestly, another blog?!”

  1. gardenfreshtomatoes June 15, 2012 at 4:34 am #

    And THAT’S why they’re considered inadmissable as evidence in court…but the police use them to focus anyway. Rough experience, I’m sure…
    Glad to see you posting more often.

    • w101njf June 15, 2012 at 4:40 am #

      See, I didn’t even know that they can’t use them in courts. Well, that’s good! Why bother with them then? I don’t know. I just see even on shows and things that if someone refuses a lie detector, they’re presumed guilty. To this day I would totally refuse one. Not happening, because they don’t work.

      And thank you. I plan on ‘trying’ to post more often. I love writing – just the whole time thing gets in my way sometimes.

  2. Sandra June 15, 2012 at 2:53 pm #


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