I Did That?

13 Oct

Sometimes I look around at kids these days and I look at them wondering, “What are they thinking?!” Especially those kids (I’m not old, but I’m still allowed to say ‘kids’) that wear their shorts/pants down to their ankles and basically walk around in their boxers. Yea, those kind. We’ve all seen them. So, naturally, when I see someone like that, I tend to make fun of them. Usually I’ll say a sly remark like, “Hey, Eminem! Can I get your autograph?” or “You forgot your belt!”. And when I say these, it’s usually just a minuscule whisper to myself or if there’s someone around me that I can mention it to them as well (and they usually don’t find it to be such a sly remark as I do). No, I don’t shout it to the kid that’s doing it in fear of getting shot.

Above: The Anti-belt Movement annual picnic

Sure, I laugh at them. But, I have to remember: Kids do stupid things.

Outside of style and fashion, I have done so many stupid things, I’ll have to keep a series of blog post on here that would last decades. But, one thing in regards to looks that came to mind that I did when I was about 13 or so was this – I wanted to grow facial hair – so I bought Rogaine.

Yes, I bought a bottle (or container – whatever it was) of Rogaine, and I smeared it on my face to try to grow a beard and look cool. And we all know what Rogaine is – right?

Above: Should read on box: NOT recommended for facial hair

When I checked out the stuff, I can still kind of recall the look I got being a kid and having a bountiful head of hair. But still, there was no prescription or anything needed – so they sold it to me.

Day after day until the bottle ran out, I would smear it on my face thinking that it would amplify the natural growth process of growing facial hair. I wanted to look more – I don’t know – ‘mature’ with a side of cool, but it backfired.

What happens when you smear Rogaine on your face is it becomes very shiny. I started to break-out in acne and my glowing skin showcased the pimples nicely. I looked horrible, yet no one caught on to what I was doing. And in spite of the backlash, I still kept smearing it on thinking I was going to look like Grizzly Adams before too long.

No, it never happened. Never had a sudden uprising in facial hair, never grew out that beard and it didn’t make me cooler. I was out twenty-some bucks for the bottle of Rogaine and left with a shiny acne basin in the meantime.

So, when I make fun of kids these days, I think it’s fine. But, I keep in the back of my head how much of a moron I was. Rogaine incident was a mild one compared to taking my parents car to Canada, giving a piece of fools gold to a girl I liked, getting my foot stuck in a merry-go-round and other things that we’ll leave for a rainy day.

Keep wearing your shorts down to your ankles, kids. Not only are you a good laugh, but it makes me feel a little better about some of the stuff I used to do. You go, Eminem’s!

However, if you’re an ADULT and doing this – that’s a whole different story and I can laugh at you and not think twice.

Above: Elton John congratulating Eminem for pulling up his pants while they hugged


2 Responses to “I Did That?”

  1. Bearman October 13, 2011 at 8:06 am #


    • Nate Fakes October 13, 2011 at 8:29 am #

      Yea, rub it in (not the Rogaine, of course)

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